Next, friendship. Things are different now. We've been spending time with each other less often. Dearest one, I know you (you both) are mad at me for later's outing. Well, you see, I don't remember promising him that I would be watching his match later at 5pm and so I went to make plans and now, when he told me about Sunday's match, there's goes everything. I am truly sorry, dearest. I know it has always been me and that the issue on prioritizing other people. I am very sorry and you know I don't wish to see us like this.
Things are in a mess now. I don't know why I am being so weak now. Where is the old me? Who goes around and don't give a fuck about the thing called Love. I used to go around dating guys and such and now? I'm sticking to one but till how long when I've been sacrificing and doing a lot to it and him? His actions says so but then the words? Him being all protective towards me like suddenly. Telling me to do this and that and don't this and that. What's the message behind all this? Yes, think for yourself, Seri, you're old enough. That's what you said but how am I supposed to figure it out when you don't bother to speak and share. I hate this. And fuck me, I can jolly well prioritized him and not the ones I used to know before him. Bloody hell me, what's got into me? People wants the best for me but here am I feeling such a loser. I hate this.
Besides that, I've been neglecting school assignments and work. The feeling of getting up in the morning and head to school is no more there. I feel so weak. Oh my god, what's wrong with me now? Somebody please wake me up?! Or even if somebody did, I think I, being the stubborn one, will choose to ignore and continue being in this current situation I'm in. Argh, fuck it.
